intimacy with others – Page 4

Why You Matter

Posted on October 31, 2023November 7, 2023 by Hilarey

Last weekend I spoke at the first Fall Gathering for IdaHope Christian Writers and I wanted to share my talk here.

Sex Starts in the Kitchen

Posted on July 10, 2023July 9, 2023 by Hilarey

Originally Posted on March 28, 2022 Sorry to disappoint, but there isn’t a recipe in this post. “Sex starts in the kitchen,” was advice I heard. I didn’t receive it before I got married, though. The first time I heard the phrase was decades later and secondhand from my kids. They’re coming to visit from…

In All Your Right-Rightness

They will know we are Christians by our doctrinal precision....

Of Mystics and Medicine

If it benefits humanity outside of a religious context, can the church still touch it? ...

prayers in cracks of the wailing wall, 2018

Kicking Bricks & Flipping Tables

I’ve heard foundations cannot be changed. (I feel like this is said when people describe how America was started as a Christian nation and therefore it could never not be...

The Wife Follower

the husband leader | the wife follower I’m realizing that questioning the husband-leader-dynamic is part of the larger debate about women in the church. (I’m usually late to the circus.) And...

The Husband Leader

the husband leader | the wife follower There was a time early in my marriage when my husband wanted to go into partnership with someone to buy a karate school. We’d...

Uncovering Paul

Paul’s command in 1 Corinthians 11 to keep a woman’s head covered was more about protection and equality for the first century church than keeping a modern woman subservient in...

It’s Probably Her Fault

I loved the first cover of my first novel. Partly because, 11 years ago, it communicated to the reader: this isn’t going to be your typical Christian fiction. I didn’t...

A Ceremony of Grief

Some kinds of deaths don’t have a memorial or funeral. It helps to have a ritual to mark the end of broken dreams so you can move on....

Dismantling Human Tradition

When I was young, I told my mom a name I wanted to give to a future child. Her quick response was that if my future husband had ever known...

Take Luck

Someone who is a Christian, but doesn’t read the Bible, is really susceptible to the weird tangents of Christian religion. Taking someone else’s word for what the scriptures say inevitably...

The Story of a Testimony Snippet

Originally posted on May 6, 2022, edited I recently tried to define story. I know there are probably thousands of succinct descriptions of “what is a story” already waiting to be...

One Body, One Hope—But it Looks Different

Jesus Christ introduces and represents himself differently to the seven churches. Superficially we can look at this is and realize, he’s different to different people. It’s true, you can find...

Abide in me

A few years ago, one of my prayer partners received the word "abide" from God, and so we spent a fair amount of time talking about it. But first, we had...

Giving, Accepting and Celebrating Love

I received some council this week, which I desperately needed. And I will share some of my thoughts processing it in honor of today. If you swing from opposite ends between...

Your Own Hands

I love the hopeful newness of January. I like resolutions. Although, if you were raised to believe you had to honor your word, it is a little painful to promise...

Violence on a Soul

My husband and I are reading “The Ruthless Elimination of Hurry.” One night, we came across a phrase that made both of us pause—but we’d had very different reactions. The phrase...

So Many Voices

What do you do when lies are shared from the pulpit? Do you get up and quietly leave? Do you create dissension with your whispering and try to stage a...

The Heart, Mind and Soul of the Matter

The same tradition can bring life to one household and oppression to another. Even in the same house, a rule can be life giving or demeaning....

Sonship and Citizenship

I remember standing on the deck of a beautiful home in Tahoe for a home group gathering. The leader responded to my compliment about the view, his home, and yard...

Praying Naked

Even though I only wanted to escape eternal burning and torture, I know my 11 year old conversion was real, because after, I felt compelled to promise to God that...

My Elevator Pitch

I remember when I first moved to the Boise area. I didn’t work outside the home, or know anyone, so at church I tried to introduce myself. Every week. In the...

Please Wait, Still (Verbal) Processing…

Originally Posted on June 27, 2022 The day my daughter turned 18, she sought me out and asked breathlessly, “So, when does it happen?” I looked at her earnest face and...

These Ten Things

There was once a woman who perfectly copied her mother's treasured pot roast recipe. First, she took the roast and cut off both ends. Then she put it in the...

You Missed the Boat

A re-post since I'm cranky that I have covid again. Also, we lost the little guy in this video about a month ago. If sarcasm (the lowest form of wit)...

Your Villain… a Caricature

Is the enemy chaotic-evil and unredeemable? I learned in a writing class that no one is a hundred percent evil, so, writing your novel’s villain that way will actually make him...

I Am the Church

I thought I'd get this blog going again sooner, but I spent the last several months creating a website for our writer's group and a narrating a...

Blessed is Everyone Who Eats Bread in the Kingdom of

The first time I heard the scripture in Matthew 7:21-23, I quickly applied it to others. In subsequent readings, it unsettled me. I've come to a place where it keeps...

Your Redemption Draws Near

I once said to my grandma, "I wish Jesus would come back." It wasn’t during a trial. I think I was just feeling the irritation of living. I had a...

Children of the Wilderness

The Israelite children who grew up in the desert saw nothing but provision and miracles. They didn’t know that normal shoes wear down each year. They took for granted food...

Who, what, where, when, why the hell?

Questioning hell When I first heard the gospel, it was good news. Everybody was going to hell where there would be eternal, unbearable punishment…wait, here’s the good part: I didn’t have...

Making Time for Intimacy

Repost: Originally posted October 3, 2022 I’m trying to practice the rhythm of consistency, but sometimes it’s not possible. Last week’s blog was quarantined as non-essential and stayed inside. Rhythm There are people...

The Ordination of Humankind

Twelve is a significant number in the Bible. There were 12 tribes of Israel, and Jesus chose 12 disciples. He even chose 12 knowing there would be one who was...

Just before you came in...

Years ago, I was at a home group where everyone discussed works versus faith. We're saved by grace through faith, but the idea of this necessary component of works comes from...

Here's What You Need to Do

Recently, we watched a television series called Ted Lasso. It's about an American football coach who goes to England to coach a British football team (soccer). There are three guys...

Uncovered

I once asked my pastor why a woman had to have her hair covered in church. He gave me so many words that it was clear he didn’t know. During...

What No Eye Has Seen

I’ve been contemplating hell for the last year and a half, and I’ll post about that soon. But first, I wanted to share some thoughts about Heaven. Just musings. I...

My Immortality

In literature, you often see a closing image that highlights or completes the opening image. It can be for good or for bad. It brings the theme full-circle. Sometimes it’s...

Unquestioning Obedience

I think I always trusted that you could wrestle with God, but felt there was a warning, or at least a caveat. If you wrestle with him, you’ll come away...

The Things That Are God's

I'm not thinking of taxes, yet. I will be in a few weeks when I sit down to organize everything. I'm just thinking about how much I love the interaction...

Tramplin' all the way. Ha Ha. Ha.

Are your nativities put away and your Christmas cleaned up? If you were a Christian in the 90s, you may remember a saying, “If it became illegal to be a Christian,...

Oh the Molehills I've Died Upon

I believe there are mutually exclusive truths about God. I just don’t accept that humans have all the details—or that we will have them this side of eternity....

Before You Receive

It's hard to be vulnerable enough to receive with thankfulness. Don't make these assumptions when you receive gifts....

House of Wisdom

This makes me think I should be more concerned with my private intentions than what books are in the library....

Before You Give

Things to think about before you give and receive gifts in our privileged society....

On the Floor, Not at the Table

It’s my understanding that sitting at a Rabbi’s feet showed a posture of learning. You were their disciple if you sat at there. This is why it was so significant...