Blessed is Everyone Who Eats Bread in the Kingdom of God

Posted on by Hilarey

The first time I heard the scripture in Matthew 7:21-23, I quickly applied it to others. In subsequent readings, it unsettled me. I’ve come to a place where it keeps me company with a content sort of fear and trembling. I don’t get it, but I accept it. It goes:

“Not everyone who says to me, ‘Lord, Lord,’ will enter the kingdom of heaven, but the one who does the will of my Father who is in heaven. On that day many will say to me, ‘Lord, Lord, did we not prophesy in your name, and cast out demons in your name, and do many mighty works in your name?’ And then will I declare to them, ‘I never knew you; depart from me, you workers of lawlessness.'”

I mean, if someone is performing dead works and doesn’t know God—they realize they’re a fake, right? Apparently not, if they say “Lord” and are surprised when they don’t get to enter heaven.

One method I used during the “it must apply to a different flavor of Christianity than mine” season, was to lump whole denominations into the story. There were surely more chosen in my denomination…otherwise I’d switch (non)denominations. So, it must be the ecumenical Baptists because they let everyone in. Or maybe it’s the Southern Baptists because they don’t let anyone in—even light.

It doesn’t apply to me

Have you ever sat in a sermon thinking about someone who needed it more than you? When I consider this, it’s funny to assume that something which separates my bone and marrow will cut someone else the same. If there were catchphrases which always reaped the lost, we wouldn’t need the word to be living.

Blessed Assurance

Don’t get me wrong, we shouldn’t be insecure about our salvation. We can have an anchor for the soul if we continue in the faith and submit to sanctification. So maybe that passage in Matthew applies to the “one and done prayer” people who think repeating Roman’s Road after someone else negates all other inner spiritual transformation…

Maybe it applies to me

I’m only kidding to point out that it’s difficult to sit and let every bit of the message be personal. It’s easier to separate ourselves and think in terms of “us” and “them” when we read things like that section in Matthew or the parable of 10 virgins. No one expecting to go to the feast wants to be locked out. It feels a little like self preservation to define who is/will be on the outside. But dismissing this story too quickly offers temporal feelings of safety at best. And at worst, it might put you on the wrong side of a locked door.

I’m writing this post especially to believers who feel outside—unwelcome in church. The people who have separated you as “them” might just be afraid to internalize warnings in scripture. It is to a Bible reader’s detriment to accept the many promises in the New Testament without acknowledging how much of it is believer-correction and believer-warning.

I’m intrigued how often I hear the sentiment from a scholar, “There are many interpretations of this passage,” and then from a layperson, “Two things can’t be true and I know what this incomplete sentence in the King James Bible means, so you’re wrong.”

It is also to our detriment to merely collect information. “What does the Bible say about that?!” Then fortify the walls around our understanding of doctrine so we never feel the painful disruption of Christ changing us.

Everyone is invited

When a man exclaimed in Luke 14, “Blessed it is everyone who eats bread in the kingdom,” Jesus replied with another parable. The scene is a landowner who has prepared a feast and wants his tables filled. The invitees give excuses why they cannot come:

Buying a field
Managing the necessities to work it
Getting married

Buy dirt and find your soul mate (or at least someone who turns you on) is American, not biblical. Even though we were told to be fruitful and multiply, and land and kids are a good way to secure your earthly future, they are not what we were made for. The house and kids package is not inherently righteous or unrighteousness.

But rather, it seems to be a distraction from the actual landowner’s kingdom-invitation: to feast in heaven with outcasts.

Citizenship and progeny

Let not the foreigner who has joined himself to the LORD say, “The LORD will surely separate me from his people”; and let not the eunuch say, “Behold, I am a dry tree.” Isaiah 56:3.

Some impact is lost if your Bible translation says stranger, foreigner, or sojourner. All languages change, but English, especially, is a moving target. If you use relevant terms like migrant farm worker, or “illegal” (undocumented immigrant) you’ll sit up a little straighter when you read the Old Testament. Because I don’t know any strangers, but I do know immigrants.

Eunuch is another term that doesn’t live in our modern vernacular. You don’t hear many people talking about a life of celibacy. Of course, that might be because if anyone said they planned to live a life of celibacy, most (Protestant) churchgoers would correct them, “You mean, you’re still waiting for God to bring you a mate.” Or, if someone says they are celibate-gay, the latter part typically overshadows the calling.

Jesus mentions intersex, people who have had their sexuality ruined by others and people who simply choose celibacy in Matthew 19:12, “For there are eunuchs who were born that way, and there are eunuchs who have been made eunuchs by others—and there are those who choose to live like eunuchs for the sake of the kingdom of heaven. The one who can accept this should accept it.”

I was told there would be bread here?

We should give even more contemplation to the promises given to the foreigner and the eunuch in Isaiah 56 because it seems to highlight two big controversies in American churches. Immigrants and celibate-gay/people who can’t or won’t have sex. I like the NIV title added for chapter 56. “Salvation for Others.”

The Other

Specifically, the one without a land or a people who joins themself to the Lord will be brought to the holy mountain (you know the place—everyone is fighting over it) and permitted into the house of prayer.

Specifically, the one who has given their sexuality to God, who holds tight His covenant, will have a monument within God’s house that surpasses sons and daughters.

Buying land
Managing your stuff
Getting married

It is the “them” or “other” who enters God’s sabbath rest that will be gathered with the chosen Isreal.

But regardless of whether you identify in the “us” or “them” group, let anyone who thinks that they stand take heed, lest they fall.

Here’s What You Need to Do

Posted on by Hilarey

Recently, we watched a television series called Ted Lasso. It’s about an American football coach who goes to England to coach a British football team (soccer). There are three guys who periodically show up, watching the matches from a pub. They are either hugging each other, or screaming at the TV, depending on how the team is doing. To me, this is an icon of sports fans: somebody who couldn’t run a mile, yelling at an athlete to jump higher and run faster. Then, without any sacrifice, enjoying a sense that they were part of the conquering. But I am not super competitive, so likely there’s something I’m missing.

A yoke you couldn’t bear

It’s fun to brainstorm a book that you don’t have to write. Likewise, to offer advice that you don’t have to follow. Advice-givers can be another version of an armchair warrior.

It’s easy to demand that a teenager reign in their passions when you’ve had constant access to sex through marriage for several decades, your libido has waned with age… and you didn’t actually wait either. I’m not saying you shouldn’t tell them what God says about sexuality—but try to remember what it was like to yearn.

A spring of both fresh and salt water

Younger people are listening to everything you say. But they’re also thinking about how and why you say it. Both the intentional words you tell them and the complaints you mutter to yourself.

Previous generations said to get married, but then called their spouse a ball and chain.

They insisted that all you need to do need to do is to find a job you love, but complain about work or insist retirement is the best thing that ever happened. Then spend all their time talking about inflation and how it is impossible to live no matter what you do, and the government will take everything you ever earn, anyway.

And many say that God is on the throne, but live in despair after the election.

Do not think you are offering advice that will fix a young person’s future when you are also defeating their hopes for the future. I think this is like the spring of fresh and salt water (blessing and cursing) James 3:10 says should not come out of our mouths.

And the following generations watch even more than they listen. So if you live in fear and despair, a motivational speaker from the world appears to offer more solutions than your church.

Try inviting those you love to the good and abundant life God promised on earth—not a life filled with negativity and despair.

Maledicion

The power of our words should create a knee-shaking awe. Matthew 18:18 says, “Truly, I say to you, whatever you bind on earth shall be bound in heaven, and whatever you loose on earth shall be loosed in heaven.” It’s worth meditating on that section.

Telling someone “You are so far from God” is like prophesying over their life. Why not instead speak “You are never so far that the arm of the Lord cannot reach you?”

You would not speak a bad word over your child (or anyone you loved) if you believed your words bound and loosed things in both heaven and earth.

Choose your audience

Sometimes it is good to be as raw as an open wound in front of someone with a more fragile faith—when it is about your faith walk. But sometimes, when it should be about them, clean and bandage that up before you expose it.

Keep people close who can hear your work-in-progress of pain and fear. You can wrestle your curse out loud to God, or to someone who will let you take it back. But for others, finish that psalm before you speak it. David didn’t always start off holy, but he usually finishes in praise.

Finishing a psalm with unanswered prayers

Celebration of Discipline by Richard Foster says, “to understand that the work of prayer involves a learning process, saves us from arrogantly dismissing it as false or unreal.” So if prayer isn’t working, he says to find out what’s broken. Maybe we have asked amiss, that we may spend it on our passions. Maybe we’re using mindless, repetitive words. Possibly we need to grow patience and faith, and God wants us to persevere so we know the answer came from him.

If you are a married man, consider how you are treating your wife if you think your prayers are hindered. But truly, it matters how any of us treat other humans. Emphasis on the “other,” since it’s godless and lazy to only love people in your tribe. Believers are warned, do not judge, and you will not be judged. Do not condemn, and you will not be condemned. Forgive so you will be forgiven.

And if you have caused offense, ask for forgiveness from the person before you come before the Lord. Which is hard. It’s really easier to justify your part, or pretend like it didn’t happen, and hope the other person gets over it. But how we think about and interact with others is a component to having our prayer heard…

Giving up and calling it God’s will

Defeatism about someone’s eternal election doesn’t line up with the statements of a God who desires that none should perish. “Maybe they just aren’t chosen. The Bible does say there will be a great apostasy…giant sigh.”

Foster also says in Celebration of Discipline that sometimes it is a lack of compassion on our part. “If we genuinely love people, we desire for them far more than it is within our power to give, and that will cause us to pray.” I think it’s also a great tool of the enemy to try to hide our power from us or diminish our authority by instilling a fear that we can’t know God’s will and we have to tiptoe around it in prayer. One of the points of prayer is to align yourself with God’s will. So don’t give up.

God’s coworkers

I don’t mean to indicate any kind of prosperity doctrine—but, believer, what if you could change the outcome instead of heralding the impending doom?

Jesus told his followers John 15:7, “If you abide in Me, and My words abide in you, you will ask what you desire, and it shall be done for you.”

Don’t forget that Moses pleaded and changed God’s mind! God also withheld the punishment he threatened Nineveh after they repented, and Abraham interacted with God in a way that indicates he could have stopped the destruction of Sodom, but at least he was able to save his family.

Pleasant words are like honeycomb

In America, we think fanny is a cute word like bootie, bum or derrière. It was a modestly popular woman’s name until the 19th century. But, it’s quite vulgar in Ireland.

Vulgarity is like modesty and has a cultural context that morphs depending on the era.

A favorite quote of mine from The Count of Monte Cristo talks about this kind of change. “The difference between treason and patriotism is only a matter of dates.”

What if a curse isn’t a word like jackass or bitch (two benign words in animal husbandry a few hundred years ago) but words that diminish a fellow human’s hope?

Stop giving your fear a voice. Rather, pray in your rightfully entitled power. If you do open your mouth, prophesy life and build up like it says in Ephesians 4:29, instead of speaking malediction over the ones you love.

Uncovered

Posted on by Hilarey

I once asked my pastor why a woman had to have her hair covered in church. He gave me so many words that it was clear he didn’t know. During a lull, his wife chimed in something about how a married woman’s hair should be covered, because her husband is over her, and he is uncovered before God.

That pastor ended up cheating on his wife. It seems some coverings have holes.

A husband as a covering

Submission, leadership and washing with the Word… Women want their husband to create an environment where it is safe to submit, for him to lead correctly and to keep truth raining down.

Sometimes, though, a husband’s “covering” can be an excuse for a lazy pursuit of God. Early in my marriage, I thought my husband should initiate Bible study, prayer, and worship. All three, not just one. It’s easier to be thin with a personal trainer & chef, so maybe it’d be easier to follow God if your husband took care of it for both of you.

Without a covering

But then I met unmarried women and women with unsaved husbands who were devout in their walk, and diligent in their personal prayer and fasting. They had to be. They didn’t have a husband-excuse to blame it on.

“It’s not about what you want…it’s about what I want,” he said.

I think it was popular a generation ago to say that the husband is the head, so he’s in charge of everything. Finances being a favorite example in Christian marriage books—regardless of who has the skill or time, or who needs to notice how the spending affects the family. I’ve met a few women from that era who were blindsided when his promise of “I’ve got it taken care of,” left her bereft and penniless at his death.

We are told in the New Testament to submit to him but not given details about what that looks like. And being the boss of everything wasn’t how Christ interacted with his disciples. Using the same example of finances: one of the twelve was treasurer. Christ, as the head, did not control the money bag. Even though Judas was stealing.

How was Christ the “head”? He degraded himself with serving to the point of Peter’s embarrassment.

Even if you are both individually fervent in your pursuit, linking your life to another changes your walk. When only one of you is elevated, man or woman, it’s easy to forget you’re on the same team.

Wives submit to your own husbands…but not like the women in the Bible

In Joshua 7, Achan sinned and stole from the Lord. I often wonder about his wife. Did she submit to him when he brought the plunder into their tent? It helps me sleep to tell myself that she must have helped him hide it. But did she really have a choice when men could divorce their wives and leave them, without education or provision, on a whim? It matters because—when he was caught, his entire family was killed, including her, their sons and daughters. Was it good to submit to him?

I know the most thorough way to punish a man is to kill off everything he loves, his progeny and, therefore, his name along with him. In movies, they even kill his dog. We see it in other places in the Bible as well, like the men who tried to feed Daniel to the lions but ended up being thrown in with their wives and children. So maybe Joshua was showing the severity of disobedience to God. We don’t know if the whole family sinned with Achan. I’m just observing the fact that, as a wife, your husband’s actions affect your life and future. Apparently, even for the chosen, as in this story, but also when Sarah obeyed Abraham. She was rewarded by being sent into a harem, twice.

The Bible makes a point to say that the second man “didn’t go near her,” but not the first. In fact, Pharoah said, “Why did you say, ‘She is my sister,’ so that I took her to be my wife?” We talk about how Sarah is in the Hall of Faith in Hebrews 11. But she is mentioned there because she believed God, not because she let her husband prostitute her. Although, I could be wrong, and it is a credit to Sarah that she submitted in this way. Free agency is a relatively new concept for women.

Submission to a mere man outside the will of God will destroy you. This could be anything from letting him remain abusive to bringing someone else into your marriage bed. Submitting does not mean following him into sin.

There will be consequences for you if you sin.

Submit to God first

Moses was supposed to circumcise his son in Exodus 4, but didn’t. The Lord was on his way to kill him. His wife, Zipporah, could have followed him obediently, but instead, she did the circumcising. She saved Moses’ life by taking charge of the situation.

David wanted help from Nabal but the man was surly and mean. David would have destroyed him and his family. Nabal’s wife, Abigail, could have just submitted. But instead, she took action outside of the will of her husband. It saved her husband’s life and her own. Later, David married her, un-submissiveness and all.

So women risk consequences if they follow their husband into sin and, likewise, they will suffer consequences if their husband is just surly, rebellious, or broken like the rest of us.

However, I believe men will have an individual reckoning because they have been entrusted with more power. And, it isn’t like my soul-health doesn’t affect my husband’s life and future.

A good way to look at it is how Daniel lived in Babylon. He honored the king, but didn’t defile himself with the king’s food. He sought the best thing for the kingdom, but still did what was right even when it was illegal.

Don’t lead him into sin

It can go both ways. Because, if he loves you as he loves his own body, he will bend to your wind. So don’t make the excuse that he is the leader and responsible for both of your sin.

Hamam took advice from his wife Zeresh (and his friends), to build a pole to kill his enemy. In Esther 7:10, Haman himself is impaled.

Jezebel advised her husband in 1 Kings 21 and “There was never anyone like Ahab, who sold himself to do evil in the eyes of the Lord, urged on by Jezebel, his wife.” She was eaten by dogs, for her reckoning.

Taking your own initiative

I remember whispers about a woman who went a little wonky in her doctrine. The probable cause? She was attending church without her husband, so it was easier for her to be led astray. As though males are impervious to false doctrine.

I think it’s a misinterpretation/misassumption that females are more likely to be deceived simply because Eve was deceived. If this were true, then by the same measure, since Adam was not tricked, you could say men are more likely to be rebellious and stand by watching their wives sin, flaccidly wondering what’ll happen. Then blame her for it.

How long should a woman wait for a husband’s covering, initiative, leading? Should she wait with her kids as though a covering of a husband can fill in for the blood of Christ? Or should an uncovered woman cut away the extra flesh like Zipporah?

Only Christ can cover you

At the judgement seat, we will stand before God. And sister, you will not be able to say, “It was the man that you gave me, Lord.” That excuse has holes.

The Ordination of Humankind

Posted on by Hilarey

Twelve is a significant number in the Bible. There were 12 tribes of Israel, and Jesus chose 12 disciples. He even chose 12 knowing there would be one who was a betrayer. So I imagine all the times Christ looked him in the eye, giving him every chance to follow and believe instead of choosing what he knew Judus would choose. Because, oh, the mercy of God.

With the significance of the number, it’s easy to see that the remaining disciples felt incomplete. The new covenant people needed to start with the same symbolism. So they prayed and chose a new disciple by casting lots.

I once heard a preacher say that the disciples chose Matthias, but God choose Paul. So who really was the final apostle? Or is the position still open?

Most of the time, I appreciate Paul’s sarcastic tone. Like when he says he is “in no way inferior to the so-called super apostles.” Irreverence intended. In fact, people might not have respected Paul because of his humility, weak eyes, or thorn in the flesh—instead preferring men who crown each other with awards and boast of their own credentials.

God is no respecter of persons. But humankind sure loves to elevate and diminish our fellow sojourners.

I’ve been ruminating about how we disregard some and ordain others, so this idea of the 12th apostle came to mind. When I searched out details, I discovered an article which argues that even though the Matthias isn’t mentioned again in the New Testament, neither are of most of the other disciples. Additionally, Matthias died as a martyr—just as most of the other disciples. So I laughed at myself, realizing I further proved my point by giving Paul more credence as the 12th disciple just because he got more airtime.

I’m reading Celebration of Discipline by Richard Foster with my prayer partners and the writer says, “The history of religion is the story of an almost desperate scramble to have a king, mediator, a priest, a pastor, a go-between.” Don’t you love that language? I can picture the desperate scramble of humans fumbling on their hands and knees groping for a go-between, instead of God.

Foster says the reason is that interaction with God changes you. The Israelites wanted Moses to speak to God as a mediator, “lest they die,” so that they could “maintain religious respectability without the attendant risks.”

Attendant risks of change

You’ve probably heard it said that our church is not a proper body if it is one mouth and many ears. For decades, modern western Christianity has wanted to go about life the same as unbelievers, knowing one slice of the pie (our rightness before God) is taken care of by the pastor on our payroll. Then we can show up and enjoy a tidbit. Check. Just chose the right pastor.

“They can be saved, but they can’t be ordained.”

When someone told me this, part of my brain shut down and I lost reasoning faculties. So, I didn’t get the chance to clarify if he meant someone sleeping with his girlfriend was more ordainable than someone who wasn’t attracted to girls. Neither did I ask him, ordained for what? Teaching, hospitality, administration, prophecy, the role of elder?

It’s one thing to go to seminary so you can frame Goldleaf paper with several signatures of elite humans, and another to go so you might grope for God. So don’t defer undue reverence to the pulpit. Just the double portion due, and material needs.

For a time, I gave rides to a woman without a car. Someone at the Bible study discovered and applauded me for taking care of her. But she also mentioned that I should get authorized by the church as a mentor. Then, I could really do her some good. I didn’t bother to go into details that I received as much as I gave from this woman of God. But, I thought it was interesting that people even want minor acts of sharing to be confined under the banner of the corporation.

If you’re called by the unconfinable Spirit of God, you’re ordained in the truest sense. And, Believer, you are called by God.

There is a downside to acting autonomously, or living in a vacuum. You can create a kind of Petri dish where skewed doctrines thrive. But it isn’t like mega churches don’t go askew, hand-in-hand, following the piper and light show.

I am not opposed to coming under the covering of a brick and mortar church. But what does it mean if you have a specific call on your life? It means you follow God, not man.

One reason to have a proper church hierarchy in the large gatherings is to avoid chaos. I am sure you can think of other reasons. Add them to the comments.

But we can’t let just anyone who says they come in the name of God to place themselves in authority. In Acts 18:24-28, Apollos wanted to go to Achaia, so after some of his doctrine was corrected by a husband and wife team, the brethren sent him with letters of reference.

It matters who writes the letter

My mom remembers hearing an itinerant preacher as a girl. In retrospect, Jim Jones gave her the creeps. But I’m sure he had letters and phone calls preceding him which said, “You have got to hear this guy,” signed by someone important. He rode the wave of public endorsement at some point. You know, before he murdered his followers.

It’s easy to get frustrated with the way our modern church body operates. But instead of severing ourselves from the heart and life-flow, we need to ask what part we are and who ordains us.

And for what?

“For we are his workmanship, created in Christ Jesus for good works, which God prepared beforehand, that we should walk in them.” Ephesians 2:10 (ESV)

Making Time for Intimacy

Posted on by Hilarey

Repost: Originally posted October 3, 2022

I’m trying to practice the rhythm of consistency, but sometimes it’s not possible. Last week’s blog was quarantined as non-essential and stayed inside.

Rhythm

There are people in my life whom I love but no longer share a rhythm of relationship with. Some are friends who used to visit regularly, others are out-of-state family with separate lives.

It can feel like we start again right where we left off, but unless it’s one of those rare connections, we spend our time on updates during occasional visits. Checking in is fine for some connections, though. We need to be willing for friend and family relationships to morph as need and availability changes. It isn’t necessary to have everyone you’ve ever met, or who shares your DNA, over to your house for dinner each week.

Consistency

Even if you live with someone, there can be seasons where all you do is check-in. If that becomes consistent, you can cover all the updates, to-do lists, and chores. Then, in the quiet space beyond that, there is time for fears, dreams, and thoughts. Deep connection takes energy, and we have limited capacity for that because it requires such a sacrifice of time and attention.

You couldn’t change my husband’s and my history, but if I only saw him on holidays for the next ten years, our relationship would not be the same. (He’s in the UK right now, so this is on my mind.)
You’ll probably have a better marriage or celibate partnership (pastoral paper #16) if you share meals and words more often than not. So I think it’s important to guard a consistent rhythm, aside from a marriage sabbatical. I recently learned about the idea and found some parts intriguing—just not infidelity in the single human relationship that’s meant to be exclusive.

I think God wants constant communication with us, and it’s the main reason he tells us to pray for our needs instead of letting us live in bliss without asking. One of my prayer partners used to consider Paul’s example of only asking God for something three times. She didn’t always see room for continuing. I favored the verses about the neighbor wanting bread and the woman wanting justice to legitimize persistence.

As far as the first approach, Paul received an answer. I wouldn’t stop seeking until you do. But as for persistence, my other prayer partner gave me a devotional book, and last month one entry read, “A long-term problem can become an idol.” I have seen this in my own life, so there is a reason to stop praying about things sometimes. There is a place for both kinds of prayer. As it often happens, two things were true. This is a good example of why we need community with contradictory ideas.

Practice

Of course, when you’re overwhelmed, even a minute with God, as your head hits the pillow, is an accomplishment. Practice means we don’t stagnate in arrogance or complacency. You try, and then you try again to make time for things and people you want in your life. You make time for intimacy.

The only exception to “making time for what you want” is when you’re struggling to keep your head up at all. But then you need God and (probably) other people even more. But making room is your choice. How and when is also your choice.


You don’t need an Instagram worthy fireplace back-dropping tepid tea because you’ve been scouring leather-bound, gold-rimmed pages for 79 minutes without taking a sip while epic hymns lift your thoughts to the third heaven. Some prayers are in tears on the toilet during your 10 minute break.

Quality or Quantity

I remember the phrase “quality time” being popular when I was in college. There is something to be said for setting aside time for a romantic (sexual or not) connection. But it won’t replace rhythms of relationship. One common rhythm with God is that every thought becomes communication. Even, “Where did I put my keys, Lord?”

In a way, I like this because I’m certain he already knows every thought before I untangle it from my mind into a semi-coherent phrase. Also, it keeps me a little more honest with him when I think he’s a front seat passenger in there. (Not a backseat driver, gasping, judging, and telling me where I should have gone. Just someone patiently waiting with a map and zero PTSD about getting rear-ended.)

It probably wasn’t the intention of the admonition in Thessalonians for “prayer without ceasing” to become flippant-over-spiritualization. When “Dear Jesus,” is filler speech that you no longer say consciously, the words are annoying or amusing to human observers. Maybe it’s always a little diminished when others hear prayer meant for you and God alone. Praying out loud in the presence of others doesn’t innately draw people in awe to the throne of God.

You don’t always need to go deep, or be sliced open to prove intimacy. Otherwise, a therapist could be your most intimate (albeit one-sided) relationship. Sometimes you can gauge the intimacy by the consistency of your rhythms more than the vulnerability of the information shared.